A 20-something y.o female BLERD, An honors student, native New Yorker, cat lover & diverse freelance writer with a real knack for Adult Animation & 90s/ early 2000s Nostalgia. Follow me on my journey through life as I try to maneuver as best I know how.
He's an overly dramatic, histrionic psychopath! LOL
Say Hello to the infamous Calculon. The "star" of Futurama's hit daytime television soap opera All My Circuits. A parody of All My Children.
Just the mere utter of his name sends my eyes rolling. LOL
He has an over-inflated sense of importance
His acting skills are definitely cringe-worthy times a million. He performs with the same affect regardless of the scene. While watching him it sends my brain cells in a fit as they're being deprived of anything worth watching.
To make matters worse he can't even seem to remember his lines and can be repeatedly heard yelling "LINE?" to refresh his memory causing the set to constantly hault to accommodate his incompetence. Talk about inconsiderate! It seems as if he doesn't even study the roles. He has one steady act:
He operates with a Take it or Leave it attitude where the rules of acting are reversed. In our world actors are made to morph into characters to invoke specific emotions within the viewer. It's all about appealing to the viewer's needs and expectations. It's a gift. On the contrary in Futurama he forces his viewers to like him no matter what.
I think what we have here is a bunch of enablers. For without them supporting this nonsense Calculon wouldn't be able to thrive. His inflated self-esteem is validated by the admiration of his fans.
Somebody please get this guy some quality acting coaching!
This clip really stuck with me & had me laughing for years actually. He starts off by telling the bride & groom that it's "all about them". Then quickly turns away from them to sing a song entirely about himself. The lyrics are below:
Who's that singing at your wedding?
It's Calculon
Calculon, Calculon-on!
What was supposed to be a special moment for two. With them of course as the center of attention quickly turned into yet again a moment and opportunity for Calculon to quickly shift the focus onto himself.
He's so devoted to his "acting career" that he died while in the process of a suicide scene on All My Circuits. He wanted it to look more believable so he ended up actually committing suicide accidentally. Talk about dedicated. XD
Okay, by now I'm sure were all used to those forced accents used to voice Jamaican characters in cartoons. It's funny because the voices are never spot on. It seems as if A. They're not even trying or B. They purposely butcher the accent so that we can laugh harder. Listening to most of the scenes involving alleged Jamaican characters like the nannys on Family Guy it sounds to me like their mimicking other Caribbean accents.
Here's a clip from American Dad Hayley sings a song named "Family Get Ya High" of course taking a jab at Jamaica constantly being associated with Ganja smoking. But get this they're actually in the Bahamas lol. Completely differently island. This is the episode named Bahama Mama.
Another weed reference LOL
Hermes Conrad's wife for example LaBarbara sounds mostly like her ex husband Barbados Slim. Who of course is from Barbados.
Kind of like when I was growing up and would dance in the wining style not unfamiliar to the Caribbean I would immediately be labeled as Jamaican. When in fact I am not. My father is Guyanese although I was raised in a Jamaican household/community well into my late teens.
Or when people see another flag from the Caribbean they automatically assume it's the Jamaican flag. LOL Or when you identify a different country they say "That's by Jamaica right?" LOL
Jamaica is extremely popular and their culture is widespread.
Their cuisine and dance is highly influential. When speaking on the Dancehall scene those who aren't actual descendants of the island aren't discriminated against because they are a part of THE CULTURE. So I like to say Jamaican by association or Honorary Jamaican. LOL
Now enough about that and onto Hermes Conrad. Hermes happens to be one of my favorite characters. He's unafraid to exert his Jamaican pride throughout the series. Hermes is a limbo champion who can out limbo almost anyone except for the time he was beat by Barbados slim after he put on a lot of weight over the years and Professor Farnsworth created a suit for him to make him ultra fast and hold in his fat. Hermes forever got too carried away and when mid limbo on his back crouched down his fat escaped the suit and caused the hurdle to malfunction.
His accent is pretty good if I must say so myself. His overusage of the word MON in replacement of MAN places emphasis on the fact that he is Jamaican. LOL.
It doesn't just end with Hermes though. He likes to keep his country's pride alive in the entire family. Hermes and Labarbara's son Dwight Conrad sports a large Jamaican flag across his shirt.
TALK ABOUT PRIDE! LOL!
Toward the end of this song you can hear Hermes exerting Jamaican pride urging everyone to say JAMAICA! lol Hermes goes Now everybody say JAMAICA! They repeat JAMAICA!
The beat of the song has an island feel to it. One can even make out some steel drums being used as instruments. If you're unfamiliar with steel pans or drums view the clip below lol.
Who else but Hermes? XD
Here he is representing Earth in the Olympics like other Jamaican athletes like Usain Bolt.
Here he is eating Curry Goat it's so spicy if burns a hole str8 to hell which ironically burns the Robot Devil. Even so like a true Caribbean he stilll adds hot sauce XD!
Hermes catch phrases are almost lyrical perhaps a hint at Jamaican's great lyrical ability within their music. Most of his phrases rhyme. Check out some of his phrases below.
Exhibit A: Behold Homer Simpson on the left, yellow as ever then feast your eyes on what seems like a silver version of him. I mean like there's almost no difference here except for that Bender is a robot and Homer is a human. Okay so to support my claims let's go ahead & do a checklist for similarities 1. Big Round Bulging Eyes ✔ 2. Cylinder like head shape ✔
3. Alcoholism or in Bender's case addiction to the robot equivalent of oil ✔ 4. "Accessory" on top of head ✔ Bender= Antenna Homer= 2 strands of hair 5. er ending of name ✔ Bender-Homer 6. Laziness ✔ Let's take a look at when Bender got to see what his life would be like as a human.
Two brothers from the "Ghetto" of Chicago. Taken into care by their Grandad Robert Freeman into a upper middle class suburban neighborhood Woodcrest. Two brothers from the same womb but quite surprisingly couldn't be more different.
Meet Riley Freeman.
Unlike Huey his older brother who "walks to the beat of his own drum" Riley can be seen emulating rappers like Thugnificent from Lethal Interjection. From his clothing choices to his actions & belief system.
He is almost the splitting image of his idols. Who of course sing music promoting gun violence and gang glorification, objectification of women and participation in get money quick schemes like drug dealing.
Then there's his other favorite artist Ganstalicious. See below.
Soon after listening to Ganstalicious Riley adopted a new style of dress. Equipped with a "man bag" and skimpy clothing bearing midriff.
In contrast let's meet Huey Freeman.
Huey Freeman definitely like myself is an old soul. He's usually depicted as miserable and drained from being constantly surrounded by others unlike himself. He's usually depicted as an enemy of the state or crazy conspiracy theorist. In certain episodes he's had to flee his home because of being sought after by government officials. He's an avid reader and isn't wooed by the latest fads usually eaten up by other youth his age. He's unfazed. He's anti-government and when researching information on The Black Panther party I came across Huey P. Newton as being its founder.
Perhaps another jab? The creator of the Boondocks sure is clever with his placement of symbolic names. Its weird because when trying to find a term to describe Huey Freeman's ideals and values the first thing I kept thinking of was Black Panther ideals. Low and behold the creator of The BPP's name is Huey.
Huey is constantly visited by Ghost Face Killa (which ironically isn't dead) kind of like a guardian angel who he turns to when in need of guidance. Unlike his brother Riley I would say his ideals align more with "conscious" rappers like Common and artists of the 80's etc. When Hip-Hop meant Higher Internal Power Helping Our People according to Professor Griff of the group Public Enemy. It once had an uplifting tone promoting unity and self-sufficiency. In total contrast to the music of today which one can argue instills materialism and superficial ideals within our people.
This constant need to "look the part" can be in part held responsible for allowing this generational cycle of poverty to thrive. Priorities aren't in order.
For instance when Riley was obsessed with this chain given to him by the Lethal Interjection crew. In the episode Shinin. Riley's chain was stolen by bully Bush Magnus and later tried to be taken back by a character voiced by Busta Rhymes. Bush Magnus ended up surprisingly beating him up just as he did Riley and later told them they could have the chain back because it was of no value to him and it was priced as being fake, comprised of Cubic Zirconia and other cheap metals.
Fast forward to 0.43 to hear Butch Magnus talk about the chain having no value
Like the time when he conducted an experiment to see how Black TV (BET etc) could effect one's health.
Now let's meet Tom.
Tom Du Bois? perhaps reference to W.E.B Du Bois
In his work Da Souls of Black Folk he speaks of the term Double Consciousness.
Could the two brothers represent the two soul warring within one body that Du Bois spoke of?
I myself like to say that I'm almost like a Chameleon of sorts. I believe my grandmother's motto: "There's a time and a place for everything."
To me that kind of means being able to embrace certain cultural aspects. The more favorable ones like Soul Food, The Cha Cha Slide at family get togethers etc.
There's also times when I can appreciate things like the new dance craze not unlike Riley Freeman.
I have different types of people I hang around, that I wouldn't necessarily have cross paths.
I can twerk, pretty well actually. But then there's the me that most people see. The "productive" side.
The ultra professional, articulate, over-achiever.
Tom Du Bois within the Black community may be looked at as a "Coon" or sell out to some. As his wife is Caucasian. He "speaks white" without using slang and in complete sentences. Tom is an attorney & yes all those degrees and awards lining the wall behind him are his.
Double consciousness within the Black community causes a very internal conflict. Double consciousness is best summed up as being “two souls” and or personalities warring within one body. This is W.E.B Du Bois' concept from his work “The Souls of Black folk”. One soul aspires to be something and succeed in life but this success is hardly achievable because trying to advance and not succumbing to the negative stereotypes commonly associated with being Black i.e. violence and poverty. may cause you to be disowned by your own fellow Blacks. Aspiring to be something and pursue things like education or employment is mislabeled as “abandoning your culture”.
Unfortunately at times in order to advance you must distance yourself from people in your race that only associates following the crowd and living in a never ending cycle of poverty, struggle, and crime as defining Blackness. Distancing yourself is seen as embracing Whiteness. This is due to the fact that Whiteness is associated with anything positive and successful. Education is mislabeled as being White, wealth is seen as also being White. Blackness is the opposite therefore if you achieve success you’re now aspiring to be not successful but transform into White as a whole. You’re “replacing” and “forgetting” your Blackness. Fear of resentment from your own race for your interest in anything considered White i.e. wanting to go to college discourages you from advancing. The other soul aims to please your own race and maintain loyalty to them which ultimately results in your demise.
Tom's wife Sarah
I'd like to leave you with the saying:
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't."
You see in this life you can't possibly please everyone. Me, nor anyone else in this race is the face of Black people. Just because you're part of a specific ethnic background doesn't make you responsible for others actions. That type of pressure can only work in vain. I'll leave you all with a link to a very impactful video of a boy who survived a suicide attempt. When asked what his motive was he blmd it on feeling like he had to challenge stereotypes commonly associated with Blacks.
So he had spent his life, like myself overachieving with attempts to "restore" the perception of the Black race and Black youth. This will be the topic of part II of this article. Stay Tuned. Voice your thoughts, whether in opposition or in alignment.- AGC
We all know that even outside of animation world, here in our world in the "animal kingdom" the cat and mouse have a reputation for being sworn enemies.
Even in the themesong/ intro one can hardly ignore the similarities. That hypnotic like circular pattern almost target like.
Cats using mice as their prey, they're a good mouse deterrent. And have been used for rodent control since Ancient Egyptian times.
Except different from real life it seems the mouse involved in both shows is just as tough, if not tougher than Mr. Cat lol
From the above thumbnails it's hard to distinguish between the two.
Perhaps through Itchy and Scratchy was Matt Groening's attempt at taking a jab at televisions ability to negatively influence young viewers. Since young viewers tend to want to emulate what they see.
Every morning Bart and Lisa can be seen plopped down in front of the T.V. eagerly thrilled at the violent interactions between their beloved Itchy & Scratchy. Not very child friendly.
Itchy and Scratchy though in comparison to Tom and Jerry goes way beyond simple cat and mouse competition that we may observe in our home world.
Poor Scratchy can never win against that clever mouse Itchy. Itchy is a homicidal mouse hellbent on murdering the Tomcat.
In conclusion, it seems that the parents of The Simpsons aren't really monitoring their children's T.V. programming choices. Similarly to our world where busy parents who work all day come home thrilled to have their children "behaving". The television serves as a method to get children preoccupied thus lessening the strain on parents.
It also seems that Lisa, Bart and various other children of Springfield are desensitized to violence after repeated viewing of this program. Seemingly innocent but what affect if any does it really have on their minds and development?
Zoidberg is a misunderstood Lobster, Squid, Crab hybrid of some sort. As the show Futurama takes place in the year 3000 and up it's safe to say that this being is a result of evolution. LOL He can be seen molting his shell and then to back up the Squid aspect squirting black ink from his pits when in "defense mode".
LOL LOL!
He also can be seen throughout the show sort of waddling from side to side in a crablike manner with his claws upward LOL.
Makes it hard to ignore his crablike resemblance XD
His occupation is "Doctor" yet I and I'm sure many others wonder where he obtained his degree as he seems incompetent and unfit for the job.
Voila! Episode The Tip of the Zoidberg. In this episode Zoidberg does surgery on the Planet Express crew and well let's just say it didn't end very well. See below.
Poor Fry was a victim of Zoidberg's botched surgery & morphed into various cartoon characters including Garfield, a Smurf and yes even Kermit the Frog. XD
This was followed by him getting The Simpsons jaundice.
Poor Poor Fry Lols
Let's just say I won't be visiting this doctor's office anytime soon LMAO!
After this the Planet Express crew became enraged and baffled as to why Professor Farnsworth continued to keep such a danger around.
In this episode a secret was revealed. It turns out that Professor F owed a life debt to Zoidberg. Years prior Zoidberg actually saved Professor's life. From what I remember it was Dr. Zoiderg's thick shell on his head which drove a wedge between him and Professor Farnsworth. A large Yeti was able to bite into Zoidberg's head which served as a distraction.
However, Professor escapes with a scratch from the Yeti. Similar to someone being harmed by a werewolf also becoming one. Professor is exposed to Hyper-malaria Which sounds like a combination of hypothermia and malaria. This disease may lie dormant for years or strike immediately. Professor begged that is he ever showed signs of the disease Zoidberg would put him out of his misery. Yes, that meant killing him.
Years later The Planet Express crew is shocked and outraged to witness Dr. Zoidberg attempting to kill Professor. This was due to the Professor exhibiting what he thought to be symptoms of the disease. Zoidberg having been aware of the major suffering caused by the disease reluctantly agrees to the pact he made to his friend years before.
However, in the end it turns out Professor Farnsworth didn't have the dreaded disease.
So Zoidberg isn't getting enough credit for his good deeds. Hopefully, going forward before bashing and ridiculing the poor "crab" they will look back to this moment.
Okay so as I was busy binge watching my favorite show The Simpsons there came episode 18 season 11 featuring the famous Moe Sizlack. The bar owner of Moe's tavern responsible for all the drunks in the town. He's unapologetic for "profiting" off of the town's sorrows.
He can even be seen reintroducing the towns drunk Barney to alcohol despite being aware of his desperation to kick the habit. The episode is based around Barney viewing a tape in which he completely embarasses himself dressed as Marge complete with a dress and all. He ends with fighting the family canine Santa's Little Helper for booze that seeped out of a broken liquor bottle.
Shortly after Moe could be seen paying homage to a black magic alter for bringing his most valued customer back. He had apparently stooped so low as to have casted a spell to reawaken poor Barney's alcoholism demons.
Despite this Moe seems to be a mere victim of circumstance. Deemed as ugly, gross and unlucky with the ladies. He gives off a creepy vibe with women of The Simpsons.
His back hunched he mostly resembles Hunchback of notredam as well as his sunken in forehead and big bulgy eyes.
Then came a realization. Moe and Randall have an uncanny resemblance.
In case you forgot =O
I couldn't help but burst out LOLING when I really took a look at Randall though.
Although seemingly very similar. Randall has more of a "rat" like appearance. Even randall's orangish-red hair looks strikingly similar to the rat featured below. LOL Talk about coinky-dink!
Hence the term Rat used to describe someone who's busy minding every else's business.
According to Urban Dictionary Rat is defined as:
Quite clever of the animation team. Randall's character really accurately reflects his appearance.
Often depicted as sneaky he can almost always be seen up under Ms. Finster reporting the every move of perceived troublemakers like the infamous T.J Detweiler and his crew Vince, Grecthen, Mikey, Gus and Spinelli.
After a while of hating him. He started to grow on me. I realized that he looks up to Ms.Finster as a parental figure. Something he's obviously lacking at home. So he's devoted to behaving in any manner that will appeal to her. She loves him with conditions, therefore he's willing to go above and beyond to find some common ground. He wants so very much to relate to her and be praised even if that means being deemed as a Snitch by his peers.
So yes they remind me of eachother. Perhaps Randall could be Moe's son. Craving for affection through unconventional methods. Maybe a younger version of him.
For as long as I can remember. I've been surrounded by animals. Specifically cats. The other day when I was going through some childhood photos in my album. There was a common theme. Almost every picture was of me at different ages, cat in hand. (I promise to upload photos soon) =)
First there was Misty.
Then Frisky.
Then Juju.
Then Cindy her sister.
Then Sweetie and her brother Vincy.
Then Sphinxy.
Then Lynx.
And a bunch of other cats I took under my wing while rooming.
Lite -n- Sweet a ginger kitty.
His father "Tyga"
"Cupcake" a visitor I renamed actual name "Precious" lol
Jinks my best friend's cat I named Sphinx after and her twin sister.
Then Aladdin & Jasmyne his "sister"
At our apartment my roommate's cats would line up at my door upon awaking every morning and beg to be embraced and cuddled.
They'd be waiting in line lol. It was so cute. Then when cats would come visit I swear they'd heard about me because then those cats would be waiting in line too. lol
I soon became very popular in the cat community.
But when people think of Cat Ladies they automatically insert the word Crazy.
They assume that Cat Ladies are almost always a reflection of the above image.
I went to work one day Crazy Cat Lady Mug in hand drinking some split pea soup. A coworker said Crazy Cat Lady hmm. you don't seem like one. How many cats DO You have? When I responded three. Her immediate response was "MMM MMM yo house must STANK" I immediately combatted that ignorant remark with laughter and reassured her that contrary to belief I was very cleanly.
Okay well sometimes I forget to clean the litter box. However, Sphinx doesn't have any issues with spraying in the house or going outside of his litter box. My baby's so behaved <3
The exact mug that sparked conversation LOL!
Whenever someone tries to drink out of it I go absolutely insane! lol. What if it breaks? You're not a Crazy Cat Lady I am! lol
Meet Eleanor The Crazy Cat Lady depicted in the Simpsons all these years. She can be seen using her cats as weapons launching them at people who anger her in a catapult or boomerang like manner. LOL!
And she says she loves them LOL! Poor Kitties
Her speech is untranslatable and she can be seen throughout town rambling to herself in a barbaric like manner.
LOL!
Contrary to belief. No I don't have hygiene issues. I am not homeless or a "vagrant" I'm a well groomed, overachieving honors college student. Quite attractive actually *insert arrogance here* lol
I do fit Crazy Cat Lady criteria in a way. Well at least I thought so. The non-stereotypical negative depiction of Cat Ladies that is. I own the term lol. Could doing so be unfair and damaging to fellow cat people? if so I'm sorry lol. I tried to take that approach where you embrace a term to try and challenge it. If that makes sense? loll! Well at least in my logic and reasoning it does.
For instance when you visit my FB page in the featured photos you'll immediately meet my precious Sphinxy. You'll be left wondering well who's page is this hers or his? lol
Isn't he sexy? LOL You'd better say YES! lol >:)
Sphinx is the King of my castle lol.
Here he is on "his" bed
Even when I have company laying in bed he'll lay with us.
Now enough about me & more about the star of the show! lol
Sphinx as mentioned above was named after I was trying to find something that rhymed with my best friend's cat's name. Her being Jinx I went with Sphinx. But it wasn't only that reason alone that prompted me to name him that. To reflect his royal status I named him after the Great Sphinx of Giza in Egypt. A perfect fit I thought as his body is modeled after another great Cat The Lion.
Sphinx was actually acquired by complete accident. One hot summer night I came into my old building and discovered some glowing eyes behind a slab of sheetrock. I thought he was a she and when my roommates returned upstairs without me. I reassured him that I would be back and not to go with anyone else except me. I ran downstairs thrilled and he jumped right into my American Tourister bag.
And thus an unbreakable bond was born. I brought him to the ASPCA mobile van and it was revealed that "Sapphire" actually was a male & that the operation couldn't be performed because he had a tattoo at the incision site marking him as already having it done. So I took off his pink collar with the gem and had quite the laugh. Meow! Meow! he yelled. I imagined he was saying "I tried to tell you I was a male!" lol
So what exactly is it about Cats that you love so much? Answer: Everything! Their fur, warmth, purr, funny late night "Cat Crazies", Meow etc.
The famous dreaded Cat Crazies
LOL!
I take my Kitty outside to go grocery shopping, check the mail, retrieve deliveries but it's mainly limited to that because he has anxiety when leaving the comfort of our home. But still I reassure him every step of the way that the fresh air may be good for him. It's interesting because he enjoys gazing out of the window and trying to "escape" but he doesn't like actually going outdoors.
He sleeps on the bed with me right by my side. Ever since I was a little girl I would have "conversations" just between my cats and I in what I refer to as "meow language" I was so thrilled and surprised to have my precious Frisky respond to me with Meows. I grew so good at mimicing Meows that I'm able to do a female cat in heat that attracts many cats. LOL. Talk about crazy.
So there'd we be me and Frisky she was a fluffy plump Maine Coon under the covers whispering in eachother's ears. Meow! Meow! Meow Meow? Meow. Lol we had such a beautiful bond. She was famous for eating Boar's Head Ham and would come bursting into the kitchen at the sound of the plastic bag it contained crinkling. Meow!
Unfortunately one day she went missing never to be found. :(
At my old neighborhood I had an unbelieveable bond with the neighborhood cats. There lived a cat lady who owned the laundromat down the block. Her cats could always be seen at the location scurrying and lounging about. She fed dozens of cats on a daily basis and fostered some inside as well.
There was Fatty and Cow named after their plump sizes. Cow after her black and white large spots. Oreo named after his black and white fur. (RIP ='()And many others, those three being my absolute favorite. Most memorable cats as they would follow me as far as the train station. Walk me to my doorstep and guard it until I entered. Even going as far as jumping on my shoulders and hugging me.
I loved them so much and was so devastated to have moved. Even so I'm sure I'm still holding the title of neighborhood Cat Lady. As I constantly speak to and chase kitty cats as well as squirrels lol. The squirrels over here love me so much that they come directly up to me so close I can touch them.
VOILA! Now the term Crazy Cat Lady is used as a term of endearment for some. LOL
Take that! If by loving cats I'm looked upon as Crazy then so be it. I stir up controversy when I openly admit to appreciating the lives of cats and animals over humans.
My friend grew angry. I told her that cats will never betray or abandon you. They're simply there as companions, support and even a mood enhancer. I credit my cat with saving my life various times. As there's been times when humans have deserted me and betrayed me in some of the worst ways possible yet I still had my cats by my side. Cats don't involve gossip or drama. They're just them, and if you can't accept cats which are a huge part of my life then you can exit my life.
STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER BLOG POST WHERE I COME TO POOR ELEANOR'S DEFENSE & VISIT HOW HER PERSONA WAS BORN & HOW SHE'S TRIED TO OVERCOME HER MENTAL ILLNESS
