My eyeballs fixated on
The hands of the clock ticking almost deafens me
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Little hand chases behind the big one
Minute hand, hour hand
How much time has passed?!
Isn’t it time yet?
I think to myself.
On the wall once white now stained with hints of brown
The foam from the seat I’m seated in
Spilling out of the cushion
Exposed like my naked body was the nights before
Heart beating fast like the Congo drum
My hands clammy, slipping and sliding
Softening the calluses that line my palms
They slide like butter now against each other
Sweat droplets gather in dark moist crevices
Like stalagmites dripping from caves
Feet and thighs shaking
We all sit here lined up,
brave souls awaiting their fates
“Next!”
The nurse’s voice echoes in our ears like sirens
Painful, startling like nails dragging across a chalkboard
The pungent smell of alcohol swabs and hand sanitizer burns through the hairs in my nostrils
My stomach churns and bubbles with each swing open of the door
Finally, she walks over to me
Wondering who will be next
Curiosity like duck, duck goose
Duck she walks past
Duck she walks past another
Goose! I am chosen
She hands me a white paper
It’s folded over
My fate underneath on the other side
My mind revisits the question
“What will you do if it comes back positive?”
My mind ponders to all the “one night stands”
I allowed strangers deep inside my most vulnerable places
Exchange of saliva as our lips part
Our tongues dance
Desperately racing to “come”
Exchange of bodily fluids as he
prods and pokes at my interior
Unloading in me, filling my emptiness
Pubic hairs tough like brillo pads rubbing against each other’s sweat soaked groins
I envisioned the seminal fluid still full of life swimming in my womb
Their goal conception
Their destination the egg
Navigating through my cervix
Our act like Russian roulette
Was the gun loaded or empty that night?
Only this paper will tell
No comments:
Post a Comment