Brief Life Lessons 2016

In life so far I have learned that you mustn’t rely solely on your relationships with others. This is because if and when these people leave/ the relationship ceases you will be very distraught and confused. This is because you weren’t comfortable with yourself. I’ve learned to not keep giving people “unlimited chances” because if you keep allowing someone to exhibit unacceptable behavior and overstep boundaries then they will get the idea that they can continue to do it over and over again. You must put a stop to it immediately.


Also, do not take all responsibility for someone else’s wrongdoing. Allow them the chance to take accountability for their actions. I noticed with my roommate I always found myself justifying her wrongful actions over and over when she hurt me. Everything she did I made excuses for and refused to look past when she actually treated me with respect. I couldn’t get the image of when I first met her and all of our good memories out of my head whenever she did something wrong. I would say no I know that she’s better than that.

She’s capable of better, maybe just this once she‘s making a mistake. She has the potential to be nice.

Maybe she’s just going through something. She’s my best friend. This can’t be! She couldn’t be doing this intentionally this is not like her. But, what I failed to realize is that once living with someone they can no longer shield things. Their true personalities are now unveiled. But still I continued to live in denial for two years until there was no more denying that for some reason she just wasn’t the friend I knew and loved anymore.


I must’ve done something wrong, this is my fault let me take the blame was the mentality I had throughout all the horrible treatment from my roommate and other abusive relationships. Until it got really bad and she and others began to realize that this mentality of mine was a great method of manipulation and control they could use to the best of their abilities.

It’s not just my roommate though unfortunately I have a history of toxic relationships. With my family, friends and significant others. Sometimes I feel like I’m addicted to being abused. I always feel sorry for those who abuse me. Even when I was a young girl throughout school I became somewhat obsessed with my bullies and I being friends and I would try my absolute best to gain their acceptance. I want so much for everyone to love and accept me.

I try to “kill them with kindness” so much that it backfires, working against me and hurts me deeply not them. But, I’m starting to come to the realization that I cannot make everyone like me. All the resources that I’m referring them to in an attempt for them to appreciate me will be used to their advantage and I will be forgotten about.

I kind of feel like I’ve developed something similar to Stockholm syndrome. I’ve also learned to not help people to the point where you end up in dire need. You must take care of you. The circumstances that led me to this was the ending of many relationships that I held very dear to me. But, unfortunately the other parties did not think of the relationship in the same way I did. It was like one by one everything and everyone changed for the worst. I felt so deserted then it hit me. What about me? I am not alone I have myself.

I can’t stress it enough, learn to be accepting of and comfortable with yourself. Love thyself, get to know thyself. Put yourself first, take your own feelings into consideration. Do not let others determine your self-worth. Do not make it a habit to only be happy in crowds or in the company of someone else. Get used to yourself, be content with you. Lastly, do not reveal too much personal details to others especially those that listen and you know almost nothing about them.