It's December 31st the
last day of the year & all I can help but do is wish that next year is way
better than 2016. I mean when I reevaluated the situation (2016) I felt better
about it. At first I hated 2016. If it were a person I would surely attack it,
spit in its face. Have it feel my wrath, my pain. Get revenge on it for
harassing me, betraying me, disappointing me. I hated its guts as well as many
people in its guts. I was so full of anger, hatred, resentment. I hated myself.
I hated my so
called friends for deserting me. Forcing me to leave them behind for my own
good. You see one of the things that 2016 taught me is to get comfortable with
myself. Help myself, love myself, look out for ME. it's like in the midst of
helping everyone else I had essentially forgotten to help myself. I forgotten
and abandoned my views, interests, my voice. I had gotten lost beneath everyone
else's needs and desires. Which isn't good AT ALL.
One must never forget
about oneself. I was so busy trying to be on good terms with my
"friends" that i let myself go almost completely. But that's going to
change. No wait it has been changing, cause you see ever since I moved I've
been on a mission to find myself again. I used to love myself so much. I was my
own best friend.
Now I have to build that
relationship back up. No more self neglect. It's about me now. I really feel
like I was being oppressed, suffocated by all the drama and negativity from those
in my life at the time. I'm breaking through those layers now. I'm shedding my
exoskeleton and starting anew. Here's to another chance at life for me, you and
everyone else. I had wrongfully given up on myself to please others. I was
enslaved. But never no more. Not this time around.
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