Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Doppelganger, resemblance



Today while I was looking at my reflection on my phone. I noticed something. Something eerie. It startled me. I saw my younger self inside of my current self. I looked at my face and saw the little me. The seven year old me the five year old me. Staring back at me. She's still inside me, little me. I saw her. Staring right at me. Sometimes I feel like I'm living as two. Then I drifted off into sleep. I was on stage back at my elementary school. In the auditorium. I entered the stage from the side stairs. I saw the mahogany glow of the wood, shiny, so familiar. As i walked on stage curtains red, resembling felt material. I jolted up.

I was reliving my childhood. It felt so real. I visited unresolved issues. Then grew overwhelmed by its authenticity's its familiarity and awakened. Lately
Little me has been trying to come out. She was boxed in,caged in for so long. I thought she had went away. I thought she has grown up into me and morphed as one. Yet,she keeps trying to communicate to me. I feel like I'm someone else who took over and trapped little me. I feel like two. Like i possessed the body of the real her. It's a surreal feeling. But, lately I've been letting her express herself. I just want her to be happy.

I let her live now instead of forgetting about her and stifling her.limiting her, i let her love. Hopefully we can become one.,because living two lives has proven difficult. Who am i? Am i someone who's taken over trying to assume the identity of her? Or is she me? Questions i ask every day. I see her staring at me. We share eyes, we share mouths were together yet so apart. She's inside of me. Never gotten a chance to properly grow. I nurture her now. Trying to connect with my inner child. Everyday I'm bombarded with her memories. Are they mine? Or is it her way of reliving her life. I feel like she died and I'm forced to live with her trapped inside me. I try to forget her but she is assertive. She wants me to remember. I am her? She is me? We are one? Finally.

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